Dating Dilemmas: how to know when it’s time to define your relationship

That age-old, could-be-awkward conversation, where the two of you talk about whether or not you’re A Couple. When is it the right time?!

First of all, bear in mind that if you don’t feel the need to define your relationship and you’re perfectly comfortable with your coupledom remaining unsaid, then there’s no reason to force the ‘what are we’ conversation.
However, for those of us who would like the security of some clarification, establishing whether you and your dating partner are now boyfriend-girlfriend or boyfriend-boyfriend or girlfriend-girlfriend can be somewhat of a relief, albeit potentially awkward to get past.


Rather unhelpfully, there isn’t some sort of fixed rule of thumb. A lot of factors are involved here:

1) How much time have you been spending together? 
Arguably this is a better indicator of your relationship than how long you’ve known the person; if you  are starting to spend a lot of your time together, and giving up your precious  weekends to see that special someone, then things are looking good!
2) How much do you communicate when you’re not together?
While this isn’t fundamental to the time-to-define debate, it is true that if you’re seeing someone frequently and talking to them all the time on the phone/text/facebook when you’re apart, it would be fair to want to know where you each stand in the relationship.
3) Have you told the other people in your life about them?
If you’re talking about someone 24/7 to your friends and family, chances are this could be more than a casual thing and you might want to know if they feel the same way.
4) How often do you think about them?
If this person is on your mind a lot of the time it could be a sign that you want to establish a more stable relationship with them.
5) Are you interested in other people?
Especially when you’ve just started seeing someone new, if you’re super into them you won’t have eyes for anyone else.
You want to be with them the WHOLE time; whether that’s chilling with Netflix or hiking through the Himalaya’s, this is someone (the only someone) you want in your life. If this starry-eyed sentiment is sticking around, it’s worth considering whether you want to continue seeing this person and, if so, whether you’d like to know that you’re actually an item.
6) Can you be yourself?
For all that you might like somebody, if you can’t be yourself around them then the relationship probably isn’t going to go very far. Having said that, feeling totally comfortable with someone can actually be quite rare. If you do find someone you can feel entirely relaxed around, it would be fair to want to know how solid their presence in your life is. Are they going to pick up and leave at a moments notice? This is where it can be helpful to define your relationship and know where the two of you stand.
A relationship defining talk need not be filled with anxiety and awkwardness – all it is, is words to back up actions. You’re talking and seeing each other a lot, talking about them, thinking about them… It’s reasonable to want commitment to back up this level of communication. Definition to help you know where you’re headed. Its really an exciting time, so embrace those butterflies and see what happens! At the end of the day, if you want to have the talk, have the talk! Its better to know where you stand if you are starting to feel ready to move a relationship forward.

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