Securing a Second Date: What You Should Know

Congratulations. Despite the nerves, excitement and awkward small talk, you’ve made it through the first date and, more importantly, you think it went pretty well. But what next? Securing a second date is a minefield of unanswered questions and unspoken dating rules – How do I know if they’re interested? And how long do I wait before I message them? Welcome to second date limbo. However, forget everything you know about the ‘3-day rule’ and the ‘hard to get’ games, here we answer the important questions on how to really get someone to go on a second date with you.

  1. How long should I leave it to contact them?

It’s true that dating rules have been made for a reason, it’s good to be respectful and kind to each other.  However, dating rules can often get in the way, especially if you really connect with someone. It’s important to assess the situation, in particular you and your date’s communication style. If you believe they had a great time with you, the only way you can mess things up is by leaving them out in the cold for a week. This only communicates disinterest and the fact that they may have misjudged the outcome of the date. If you want to see them again, what are you waiting for? You’ve got nothing to lose.

  1. What should I say?

The most important thing to remember here is to be yourself and not somebody else. Sure you want to impress them, but if you’re trying too hard to act like somebody else then it will be obvious to your date and more importantly you may attract the wrong person. If you’re not compatible, it’s much better to find out now rather than later down the line. Instead, mention how much fun you had and try and incorporate something they may have mentioned on the date – ‘How was dinner with your friends last night?’ or ‘How did your presentation at work go?’ This not only shows that you were paying attention on the date but that you were genuinely interested in what they were having to say.

  1. What if they haven’t messaged back?

So you’ve made the first move and they haven’t replied yet? Don’t worry, the most important thing to remember is to not overanalyse. Give them space  and let them take time before responding. If they don’t respond to you immediately after you contact them, don’t send a string of messages before you have received a response, simply give them a time to respond as you go about your own life.  Like you, they may have a busy schedule and are waiting until they have time to give your message the proper attention and time it deserves.

  1. Where should we go on our second date?

Now that you’ve passed the awkward small talk of a first date, you can get creative on your next one. Yes, you could play it safe and opt for the traditional drinks and dinner but you’re probably feeling more confident and adventurous second time round. You should think outside the box, take risks and surprise your date; a new shared experience is a fun opportunity to learn more about your date you wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. How about taking them to see a live music show or renting bikes for a cycle around your local park – bonus points if you pack a picnic.

Remember, if your first date went well, just be open, honest and genuine and don’t be afraid to make the first move. A second date is something to be excited about and an opportunity to really get to know somebody. A first date makes the impression; a second date makes the connection. Have fun and good luck, love is just around the corner.


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