Your Guide to the Perfect First Message

Like any good story, the hardest part is starting it. Whether it’s starting a television series, writing a poem, painting a picture or beginning the housework – you have to work your way into it, before you get rolling. Internet dating is exactly the same. Here at HelloYou we are all about starting the conversation today, but if like most online daters, you have no idea how to!

Well lucky you stumbled across this post, because you are going to learn just how to perfectly craft a flawless first message to begin your love story. By following these 5 simple steps, you’ll be sending messages that are sure to get your matches responding!


  1. Catch their attention with a creative subject line

Saying the right thing is important; but even before your match reads your message, the one thing that will determine whether they ‘delete’ or ‘open’ is the subject line – a detail not to be ignored. You are bound to be lost in a sea of messages by starting with a simple “hi”, “how are you” or “hello”. The idea is to set yourself apart from all other suitors, so why not get experimental? Draw them to your profile with a funny, playful subject line that will surely make them click. A simple “howdy” is infinitely better than “hello”, or even better, a creative cheesy pickup line like “I’m not a prince, but I am charming”.

  1. Ask a question

Now that they’ve opened your message, how are you going to start it? You need to begin a conversation. Most of us will open with a simple “how are you?” but as we have all experienced, this conversation dies as quickly as it started. Read their profile to find a similar interest that you can ask a question about that will drive a conversation forward. Always use open-ended questions, ask their opinion, and learn something about them. Having a common ground will create an instant connection, but if you don’t share any interests, be imaginative and write out a riddle! When writing to them, always remember ‘will this progress conversation?’ and give her a reason to reply.

  1. Be your witty, charming, humourous self

Most online daters are looking for ‘someone who will make them laugh’. Using playful banter to spur on laughs is a cheeky flirting technique that will not only make them like you more but will set you apart from everyone else online. However, there is a fine line between cocky, cheesy and funny. Avoid poking fun at their appearance or very personal interests and opt for self-deprecating humour to not be taken seriously.

  1. Everyone loves a compliment

The biggest thing to remember when giving out a compliment on online dating is to not compliment appearance. This may seem odd, but users find it uncomfortable and impersonal to be complimented on their looks. In the online world, you need to be more creative than real life, so “you are beautiful” won’t cut it. Look at their profile and give them a compliment that only they could receive – make them feel special!

  1. Quality not quantity

Keep it simple. No one wants to open a message to an essay, so ask simple questions on one or two topics. Daters are far more likely to respond if there is not much effort involved, as reading messages is often a task they do to fill in time. But remember, proof read! There is nothing attractive about bad grammar and spelling mistakes. So next time you type ‘c u l8r’, think again!


And send!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s