Why We Need to Stop Trying to be “Perfect” Partners

We live in a world that tells us we are only as valuable as the smile on our face; negative emotions aren’t embraced, and sadness is mistakenly depicted as weakness. We’re constantly seeking “perfection,” and part of this includes having the emotional scale of an automaton.

In our relationships, we still try to remain consistently level-headed. Its usual for us to spiral into thinking we’ve “ruined” the relationship, reverting to the masquerade in an attempt to make it all “fine” again. Society’s apparent fear of emotions has possibly the biggest affect upon our lives – our relationships, and our own wellbeing suffers monumentally at the hands of this unspoken rule. Our “stiff upper lip,” means that many of our relationships, whether romantic, professional, friendly or familial, may remain at a superficial level. Not intentionally, of course, but it makes sense that we might feel less connected to the people in our lives because we’re so reluctant to reveal all sides of ourselves. These “jagged edges” as Ariel Currant beautifully describes them, are part of what makes you, you. We are all perfectly imperfect. Capable of experiencing contrasting, confusing and incomprehensible moods, because we are human beings. Unlike automatons we cannot compartmentalise, or even wholly make sense of these; and that’s just fine.

Moreover, it is these idiosyncrasies that someone, somewhere, will fall in love with. Bonds are formed over tears, as much as they are over giggles, and the most honest and long-lasting relationships encompass every side of the people in them. The good, the bad and the ugly.


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