Okay, so you’ve done the groundwork – you have started the conversation, clicked with someone online and decided its time to meet. They are interesting and you want to know more! You discuss a date venue and lock in your first meeting.
But before you start to worry about the date outfit, the conversation topics and the whether your kids will have his nose, its important to remind yourself of three important things as part of your pre-date prep!
1.You are not there to be anyone but yourself.
You’re not there to impress anyone or trick someone into liking you. Too many people go into a date wanting to make the other person happy, but really its about seeing if you are! Do they naturally make you laugh, do you enjoy each others company, do they bring out your passions, do they share similar outlooks on the important stuff? Honesty is always the best policy – so be yourself. Maintaining a character or acting the part is the only way to be around someone, then its a waste of time for both parties – you should be out there talking to the right people, who you enjoy being yourself around! That’s not to say you have to tell someone your life story on date numero uno! That’s the fun of dating and getting to know someone over time – but if someone asks you a question, answer truthfully. Being confident in your opinions and embracing your own quirks is super attractive anyway! In the same way, wear what you feel comfortable in and meet someone you know you will enjoy – its your time and if you don’t end up liking the other person, at least you can say you went to a cool bar, or tried a new cocktail.
2. It’s just a date. Not a marriage!
Yes we have all had some shockers! Those lets-not-get-enough-drink kind of dates, the ones where you question every message you exchanged, the ones that make you want to give up this dating malarcky! But its really all positive progress. Either you find someone you want to meet again, or there is one less fish in the sea to worry about. Never be scared to walk away and end something that you are not enjoying, be polite and considerate and take your leave, and then put the date behind you. On to the next (with some extra knowledge about what you want to experience with the next person you plan a date with!) Make sure you keep first dates casual- don’t lock yourself into a three-course meal or all day activity – a simple drink or coffee should give you enough time to see if there is something worth developing.
3. Of course, always be safe.
Date one should always be in a spot you are familiar with – you know how to get there and the route back home, you know the vibe and trust the venue. There will always be someone you both know. You want to go to a public place, where you can get help if you need it. And always let friends or family know where you are going, and when you are home safe. Don’t feel pressured to giving out any information before the first date – this way if things don’t work out you can delete their connection online and block their number.